MySpace Music Reviews - Vol. 32

A lot to get to, as i resolve to clean out the ol' friend request box, and proceed with a clean slate in - and renewed optimism for - 2007. And away we go ...

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Chop Shop (Alternative / Indie)

There are five of them, and room for more, they want you to know. One plays a trumpet and that's always nice. One is trying a bit too hard at times to sound British. Generally pleasant brooding stuff, though, all downloadable. Grab your favorite ("Crickets" is quite nice), and maybe even contribute? There's an "open source" vibe to the whole endeavor, and that's always fun. I'd give it a go, but i'd probably ruin it by playing too loud.

Friend Status: Accepted.

Victor Pinks (Garage / Punk / Rock)

I think i now know what Camper Van Beethoven's first practice sounded like. Off to a good start, lads; keep practicing and get that bass player.

Friend Status: Accepted.

THE VANDELLES (Surf / Blues / Experimental)

Droney Brit-Pop with surf guitar tones. I dig how everything sounds like it's coming from three rehearsal rooms down the hall. They're playing a bunch of gigs around town soon; i'd say make sure to bring your earplugs.

Friend Status: Accepted.

the monster army (Indie / Garage / Electro)

Mysterious, sea-foam-green loving duo marries spook-o garage with Casio beats, thus proving it is, in fact, drummers who are the most likely to be pretentious and expendable.

Friend Status: Accepted.

JOSHUA'S WHISPER (Metal / Rock / Other)

Tool-inspired metal, understated enough vocally to not crush any sense of melody, though still suffering beneath the requisite Guitar Center effects-rack cheese. Metal bands are a lot easier to like when they aren't trying to be so damn professional. Plus, JOSHUA'S WHISPER is an ironic name for a band whose missives seem to be CONDUCTED ENTIRELY IN CAPS.

Friend Status: Rejected.

WinterKids (New Wave / Alternative / Indie)

Remember when you were a kid and you went to the amusement park, and outside your favorite ride, there was a painting of a cartoon bear holding a yard stick, saying "hiya, kids, you must be THIS tall to enter the ride", and you were all standing on your tippy-toes, like "crap, being young sucks"? Well, this hyper bunch should have some sort of reverse-age-stick holding bear, and the cut-off could be twenty years old, and if you were older, you wouldn't be allowed in, but instead you'd be like "ah well, i already done rode that ride." You know, i like the sentence-long reviews a lot better, how about you?

Friend Status: Rejected.

My Virgin Eyes (Metal / Experimental / Death Metal)
My fucked ears!

Friend Status: Rejected.

DIRECTOR (Pop / Rock / Alternative)

Cut!

Friend Status: Rejected.

Cowboy X (Alternative / Indie / Rock)

Cowboy Why? ... Okay, that one was particularly weak, but i have a lot of bands to get through, and at least most of the other ones are interesting.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Lightning Type (Alternative / Rock / Pop)

Most of the other ones, anyway ...

Friend Status: Rejected.

Drunko (Punk / Hardcore / Crunk)

I always get disappointed when bands have drinking-themed names / schticks, but end up being able to actually kinda play. Apparently they're not that hammered. Long live Alcoholocaust.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Public Record (Indie / Soul / Reggae)

The idea: Reggae/soul rhythm section, undisciplined indie-rock guitar interplay. Great bass sound, but punishingly white.

Friend Status: Rejected.

The Wasted Wagon (Indie / Rock / Acoustic)

Normally, i'm a sucker for bands that don't bother / don't know how to tune their guitars, but this smacks me as being a little disingenuous. Or maybe he's just that stoned. Either way.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Spylacopa (Ambient / Experimental / Other)

This is a bit like being deep in a cave with an underground pool, listening to drips from the stalactites. Or is it stalagmites? I get those confused. Anyway, there might be a monster in the cave too. Or there might be some hot chicks, posing provocatively. Man, this act covers all the bases pretty well, don't they. Anyway, i think one or more of the guys are in Dillinger Escape Plan, thereby proving that all modern hardcore kids are dabblers at heart. Coming up next: A Static Lullaby's country record.

Friend Status: Accepted.

Midget (Pop Punk / Powerpop / Indie)

Hey everybody! Midget's getting back together! Just to get you psyched, they put up some long-forgotten tracks from 1997-8, the height of their game. Which, i don't know about you, but i barely cared about stuff from 1997-8 in 1997-8. Except that Yo La Tengo record, that was pretty dope. Besides, last night's Weston / Sticks and Stones / Latex Generation show sated any of those left-over urges for that bygone era, perhaps permanently. The good news for Midget, though: Pro Tools has gotten a lot more convincing sounding in the last decade.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Joseph Ferocious (Indie / Experimental / Death Metal)

Ah, indie rock. It reminds me of those cabins made of tongue depressors you put together sloppily when you were a little kid, and your mom was very proud of you when you did that. You probably recall those sorts of experience wistfully, but i do not. Nor am i Mrs. Ferocious. Put another way, i'm not exactly the target audience for this sort of stuff. This is my effort to be less mean, and so far i think it's going well, don't you?

Friend Status: Rejected.

Imogene (Psychedelic / Jazz / Rock)

Heavy heat-haze-y jams. The singer's a little "L.A." for my comfort, but on the plus side, two bass players!! Nice to see someone out there understands.

Friend Status: Accepted.

JC Rx Music (Other / Indie / Electro)

This is what it sounds like when Jack Horkheimer is having a nightmare.

Friend Status: Accepted.

Third Estate (Rock / Pop / Punk)

Tonight on the WB: Jared learns a dark secret that may change his love for Courtney forever. Featuring music by Third Estate.

Friend Status: Rejected.

FABS (Indie / Pop / Surf)

A "happy" Avril Levigne? The Tiffany of surf? From cold n' gloomy Scotland? Doesn't give the lead singer much of a chance to sport that bikini she's so fond of, unless they tour the US soon. Then again, the Trashmen ("Surfin' Bird") were from Minneapolis, so who am i to front? Equally fun and captivatingly annoying, just like it should be.

Friend Status: Accepted.

Melochromatic (Rock / Indie / Progressive)

Monodramatic.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Kosmic Daydream (Rock / Psychedelic / Punk)

Bazooka Joe: "Hey, MsMR, how do i get from Jersey to Desmond's Tavern?"

MsMR: "Practice, practice, practice!"

Zing!

Friend Status: Rejected.

A Plea For Mercy (Metal / Hardcore / Gothic)

If you need an act to check out until the new Evanescence record drops, you're in luck. From Arkansas, no less. Hey, i'm not trying to be (that) snide; i do go to minor league baseball games, after all. Besides, the front woman is more than up to the task. I almost wish i liked music like this.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Black Light Co. (Indie / Folk Rock / Emo)
"I'm the loneliest when you kiss me"? Well ladies, don't say you weren't warned.

Friend Status: Rejected.

Desmond & the Tutus (Indie / Indie / Pop)

Er, no.

Friend Status: Rejected.

PAINT CAN (Other)

Ah, Christ it's that goddamn guy who had a bit part in Clerks again. Don't bother unless you own at least three (3) articles of corduroy clothing.

Friend Status: Rejected.

jinn abide (Rock / Progressive / Indie)

Much like Pauline Kael's famous, disbelieving proclamation that "no one i know voted for Nixon", no one i know currently listens to grunge, even updated metal / math grunge like this. But, this may be a sign of my NYC elitism, as here is yet another example of a band working hard and skillfully executing a sound that, let's be honest while we're snickering at how dopey and sincere we perceive them to be, would fare much better on an unpublicized tour of the US than any bands i like, and probably any bands you like / write about too. Therein lies the rub about being "cool": you're constantly outnumbered.

Friend Status: Rejected.

And now, to throw the rest of the bands under a bus and call it a year. Sorry GoodYear (Punk / Rock / Ska), Korbin (Rock / Garage / Punk), and Mississippi Witch (Rock / Alternative). As for you dear reader, looking forward to a new year with you!

MsMR